OHANA 🙏🥰🙏

I haven't been here in decades, I lived on a different Island in Oahu with Margie Brown and because of her got the invitation to sail to Long Beach California which took 32 days on a 30 ft sailboat battling tales of Uleke or glass water sea. It was my first ocean crossing and a incredible fantastic completely insane voyage, Although actually very lucky to make it alive is there were many things that went wrong a thousand miles out into the ocean but the captain of the boat is a seafaring dog and the son of one of the biggest navigation companies on the island. He was probably born on a boat as it is deeply embedded in his veins of seawater and soul. If I would have been able to choose one person I would have wanted to do this with as someone capable like him ‼️
I wouldn't trade it for anything?

Hawaii to me is a paradox, it exists in a place out of time. The future is in the present and the present is filled with the past it's existence combined together to create and dizzying and creative masterpiece! And drifting between it grabbing wisps of smoke from the streets~ it is everywhere and nowhere. Although I've been here plenty of times over the years and lived on other islands, I'm pretty much done with "anything American "~ I'm on permanent vacation  and so are my taste buds and senses! And even when things don't go as planned or perhaps sideways......
That's when we really know about the world around us! These islands  are seductive beautiful and easy to fall in love with by the majestic cliffs that climb from the ocean into the sky and the countryside, untapped and unspoiled views in some of the most unsuspecting places.... UNBELIEVABLE ‼️ yeah though the country and the people having endured and survived so many parallels from war to typhoons to Pele....... you fall into a dream like trance, thinking it will never be over. It's hard for me to not look at it in cinematic terms of surfing and beach girls??
But time after time after time......shit gets real?

Escaping last week from Los Angeles California area where it took days on end to get my banking fixed where hackers had gotten in I also found that my son's passport didn't have that 6-month magic window? Well s***, just left Puerto Vallarta (ain't going back for sure).and I don't want to stay in California whatsoever.....WTF TO DO‼️ So my good friend whom I'd never met and had invited me countless times offered to take my son and I in one of her many condos in Lihue, Kauai, Hawaii.... All the worries seem to dissipate for the moment and she was constantly treating us like some VIP's for some reason? But, being in condos that means those other people around here and don't seem to get much excitement other than Pat Sajak ,Vanna White or Lawrence Welk reruns? Carol is nothing like that and we're looking for something a little bit more than Don Ho, but not Hawaii-5O?

She is a gourmet cook I've seen the article newspaper clippings and I've tasted the food so I can verify that,  plus she plays tennis and runs around faster than I can keep my eye on her? Always doing countless things taking care of herself and other people. She is a whirlwind and a forced to be reckoned with no doubt. But, having me here, rumors abound and small-minded people talk small minded things and that has put pressure on her which I never wanted? But they obviously forgot who they're dealing with because she's right back in their face ‼️ Although it's untrue and most everyone knows it's untrue - it's the ones that don't have a life that must invent chaos and drama to make trouble for other people that seem to be enjoying themselves for they themselves cannot enjoy their own pending doom? It's called The Crab mentality the crab at the bottom will always claw it's way to the top, thus somehow pushing the top to the bottom in the cycle always continues. In other words you must die so they can live by tearing other people down?

*** Those that beg and steel and borrow never fulfilled come back again tomorrow,
Tried to forgive tried to forget but they never change and they have no regret.
The more they consume of when you give, To drain you dry dead so they can live.
For you shall be wrong so they can be righteously right, but shadows have trouble hiding out in the light.

This is not all things Hawaiian or American or any of the nationality, it is those that are individuals within our society that gossip and create instigations that don't have too much interaction with other people so they can't actually have a clear view of anything outside their own world that is closing in rather small? Same thing happens in Umerikkka, Bali, Thailand, Philippines, Mexico and all points around. 

Kauai Hawaii, where sister meets brother I guess 😂😂😂 10/23/21

I haven't been here in decades, I lived on a different Island in Oahu with Margie Brown and because of her got the invitation to sail to Long Beach California which took 32 days on a 30 ft sailboat battling tales of hurricane weather or a smooth flat glass ocean. It was a fantastic voyage and although actually very lucky to make it alive I wouldn't trade it for anything?

Hawaii to me is a paradox, it exists in a place out of time. The future is in the present and the present is filled with the past it's existence combined together to create and dizzying and creative masterpiece! And drifting between it grabbing wisps of smoke from the streets~ it is everywhere and nowhere. Although I've been here plenty of times over the years and lived on other islands, I'm pretty much done with "anything American "~ I'm on permanent vacation  and so are my taste buds and senses! And even when things don't go as planned or perhaps sideways......

That's when we really know about the world around us! These islands  are seductive beautiful and easy to fall in love with by the majestic cliffs that climb from the ocean into the sky and the countryside, untapped and unspoiled views in some of the most unsuspecting places.... UNBELIEVABLE ‼️ yeah though the country and the people having endured and survived so many parallels from war to typhoons to Pele....... you fall into a dream like trance, thinking it will never be over. It's hard for me to not look at it in cinematic terms of surfing and beach girls??

But time after time after time......shit gets real?

Escaping last week from Los Angeles California area where it took days on end to get my banking fixed where hackers had gotten in I also found that my son's passport didn't have that 6-month magic window? Well s***, just left Puerto Vallarta and I don't want to stay in California whatsoever and sure as hell not going back.....WTF TO DO‼️ So my good (Facebook) friend whom I'd never met although had invited me countless times offering to take my son and I in one of her many condos in Lihue, Kauai, Hawaii.... All the worries seem to dissipate for the moment and she was constantly treating us 

like some VIP's for some reason? But, being in condos that means those other people around here and don't seem to get much excitement other than Pat Sajak ,Vanna White or Lawrence Welk reruns? Carol is nothing like that and we're looking for something a little bit more than Don Ho, but not Hawaii-5O?

 She is a gourmet cook I've seen the article newspaper clippings and I've tasted the food so I can verify that,  plus she plays tennis and runs around faster than I can keep my eye on her? Always doing countless things taking care of herself and other people. She is a whirlwind and a forced to be reckoned with no doubt. But, having me here rumors abound and small-minded people talk small minded things and that has put pressure on her which I never wanted? Although she knows it's untrue and most everyone knows it's untrue it's the ones that don't have a life that must invent to make trouble for other people that seem to be enjoying themselves for they themselves cannot enjoy their own pending doom? It's called The Crab mentality the crab at the bottom will always claw it's way to the top, thus somehow pushing the top to the bottom in the cycle always continues. In other words you must die so they can live by tearing other people down?

This is not all things Hawaiian or American or any of the nationality, it is those that are individuals within our society that gossip and create instigations that don't have too much interaction with other people so they can't actually have a clear view of anything outside their own world that is closing in rather small? Same thing happens in Bali, Thailand, Philippines, Mexico and all points around. 

VAGABONDAGE 101

VAGABONDAGE
11/19/21

For some reason it seems I'm most happy when there's a little bit of shame involved. Why does shame and happiness coexist so closely together? It's like, I just had the most beautiful exquisite but shamefully expensive dinner and I feel good! Not being able to share the experience of a beautiful Villa or a tropical island with someone is perhaps only a dream if alone but I believe with someone else~  that comes a reality.

My son and I are being treated like a royalty with a beautiful condo overlooking the ocean here in Kauai, my friend..... My dearest friend that I adore and love so much is a chef and has given me 200% Total Access to her Jeep 4x4 and won't even allow me to buy food although I do and I even push her out of the kitchen so I can do dishes? I'm tempted to have my lawyers draw up a contract and have her adopt us? Like a stray dog that you feed once and it never goes away... Well that's a joke and I'm not going to impose~just saying with gratitude of blessings.

I'm used to being on the giving end not to receiving end and I know a lot of that stems from my mother's personality where you wouldn't leave the house of hers without something in your arms going away? It's somehow rather difficult for me to be at the receiving end but this relationship is no chalkboard of who did what and when and at what time and I'm praying it balances out it seems to be? And this is something I guess I needed to learn so I welcome it with much honor~🙏🥰🙏
It's getting harder to take experiencing all these beautiful things and still being alone, even though my 15 year old is here the furthest thing he wants to do is be separated from his phone and playing games with friends on it? But I am constantly reminded he is a normal 15 year old and that's what they do, therefore I don't shame or manipulate to friendship. It's just what it is but it ain't what it used to be?

I got to get out.........
And it drives me batshit crazy to stay inside, I never want to stay within these sheetrocked four walls and the ceiling I need to get out I need to explore I need to look for different things to entertain my eyes....
I call it "EYE PORN"?
Yep, find different things instead of the mundane day after day year after year that make you look and your eyes grow bigger with wonderment. Go a different road a different path try different transportation talk to different people try different food trying to do anything but the daily routine that sadly suffocates that life and existence into a blank piece of paper?

When no one steps on my dreams and all the puzzles seemed fit days like this, where there are moments when a heavenly light rises over the dim world you have been so long creating, and bathes it with life and beauty, freedom to experience, to breath and grow away from what won't allow you to evolve. Struggling and choking to keep it down instead of exposing your freakiness for life, adventure and happiness. I escaped my suicide machine of the 9 to 5 - the four sheetrocked walls of the American dream and vision that has imploded while killing myself to live of what I'll never get out alive. I divorced my toxins, the bridges behind me were meant to be burnt as I don't belong there anymore. That only pushes me to go forward, to make more mistakes and learn different things. I have more questions than I do answers and I have 10, 000 lessons why doesn't work and only one of why it does.

You hopefully understand as well as everyone else you have responsibilities in the world and have to be a bit more practical because you're not 16 anymore?  But~ if you're climbing up that number ladder you've got to realize this is no dress rehearsal~ this is your life so whatever it takes for you to be happy if it's where you are in your comfort zone that's good. And you may have been selected to find Paradise with your mate with your wife with that area where you are and that's a blessing but,  If it's not good I urge you to change it do something to make you feel happy do something that makes other people feel happy and be a change out there?

When no one steps on my dreams anymore and all the puzzles seemed fit days like this, where there are moments when a heavenly light rises over the dim world you have been so long creating, and bathes it with life and beauty, freedom to experience, to breath and grow away from what won't allow you to evolve. Struggling and choking to keep it down instead of exposing your freakiness for life, adventure and happiness. I escaped my suicide machine of the 9 to 5 - the four sheetrocked walls of the American dream and vision that has imploded while killing myself to live of what I'll never get out alive. I divorced my toxins, the bridges behind me were meant to be burnt as I don't belong there anymore. That only pushes me to go forward, to make more mistakes and learn different things.

I think my parents were wrong when they said " I won't be happy until I put out someone's eye"? Most everyone I've met still has both of them operating and I didn't do anything to devalue that? As far as love~ where's it going to take me .....I'm hopeful but still have no clue and I'll find out one way or another hopefully before the end?

Bali "Lembongan" a small incredible island

When I first went to the islands of the Philippines  I was sick with love-- the good kind. But one that never leaves until you return. The embrace around your heart kind that infects you deep within type because it's really like no other place I've been although I have traveled the globe a few times but avoided this place like the plague!!!

The reason? Heartbroken sadly with what I had considered my 1st true love and well, only love? An angelic American born Filipina beauty, a style and "Grace" that I hadn't seen or experienced before, Italian- Japanese- South American- "American/American that I didn't quite connect with somehow. But seeing and meeting with her family culture it seemed deeper and accepted possibly?

We broke up-parted ways sadly......... we didn't marry?

But that was a previous lifestyle,  a previous life a long time ago.

Now decades later divorced and my 15yr old son that's has lived with me it's time to go back, this time to live. I had taken him there about 3 times every year for 45 days of school break. He loves it like I've always loved it...our face hurts from too much smiling and laughter. We hadn't been able to return back for about 3 yrs, I have taken care of my mother for about 12 yrs as I made a promise to her as a child not to put her in a rest home and to care for her. I kept my 50 yr vow and she passed in my arms an hour prior to her last breath and an hour after. She went with love and warmth to be with my father and my 2 older brothers.

The pandemic wiped out 2020 for us as well as most of the worlds plans!

I've signed the escrow papers on my house and property  a few months ago and although we got our visas from the Embassy/Consulate General of San Francisco our Airplane tickets were canceled about 7 times. Was in Mexico or further South, searching for anywhere other than U.S. because, well......its now totally gone and my money obviously would go much further for less than 1/2 the price?

That's when my old neighbor from Tiburon California David Dagley intervened and suggested to visit him in Bali and helped in getting a business Visa for my son and myself..... now, this is exactly where we wanta be......a place called home! We really feel like this can be and is home. I'll always adore Philippines,  but now my "fickle heart" has fallen deeply into the country and culture!

We do know it's in much better hands nowadays but will take perhaps decades to fix the economy, reputation and perhaps trust from other countries. Perhaps Philippines next year when pandemic is better controlled there, for now this is safe😎

Jakarta Indonesia 05/2021

Written in May 2020

Jakarta Indonesia seems nice if only John and I could explore, can't go further than our windows because of mandatory "vaccine hotel" on everyone entering this country. I could be jailed and deported for leaving my room, so when we arrived, we came in the back special entrance and we were taken by room service personnel to our place

  In 3 more days being held inside a rather decent hotel room for  the last 4 days we are eager for Bali. And as well we had come in the heals of no travel by land or sea during the  Ramadan religious observance until another 7 days to Bali. We exited Jakarta on the last day and finally made it to Densapar Bali. But it was "almost worth it" And better than Singapore that can eat into funds without connections, knowledge or heavy learning how to navigate?

Hopefully,  there won't be any more issues interfering with our destination to met up with an old friend/neighbor whom I've either never met or have probably drank with and forgotten and will chill in Bali diving-drinking- exploring trouble. There was a lot of partying I heard about in the 70/80/90's

Our flights back home to Cebu Philippines were canceled 5 different times and a year plus of yanking us like a yoyo by airlines plus extreme lack of sleep for basic brain function made it excruciating painful to navigate this time with flight cancellations and Covid-19 protocols and new stringent regulations. Not to mention the worlds worst travel agent and the 11 hour layover in Los Angeles but ......... THIS BONEHEAD MOVE...........

#1 SCREW UP was not obtaining our Indonesia visas prior to bookings! 😱😱😱😱

Luckily our bud David Dagley and Barb Sport Laing had me covered and a incredible rush job minutes before our flight. Not being able to stroll and catch some local culture and street food has me in a strange way as that's what I love exploring new and different countries and ways to view life through their eyes  maybe for a moment,  I always love to learn something from them. 

It's been a wormhole of the last 3 weeks leaving our home in Mendocino California, I'm not really missing the quiet or the acreage and it's backbreaking daily responsibilities, oh and that solitude .... what I miss is my mom that passed   a few months prior to Covid-19 pandemic that the genius handle so well🤬🤬🤬🤬

I feel soooooo much better about leaving USA in competent hands of this great administration and have actually stopped obsessing about the WTFJHT news that made me almost cringe about waking up with its vileness. I still do the dailies but in Bali I will stop completely I believe? You got your facts together now and no GASLIGHTING or GRANDSTANDING!

So in about 3 to 4 days I'm going on photo safari........

Take good care kiddos wherever you may be!🙏🥰🙏