End the beginning part 15

It has been a very long time since I have written, depression was the reason as I fell into the deepest of disparity. I wrote prior in where ” I left my heart in the Philippines “, seems it never left!

What I am about to share maybe uncomfortable to some, I know it is to me feeling vulnerable. I married back in year 2000 and thought I had a lifetime companion. A nice Provencal girl with her family I adored!

A couple of years ago that changed when I funded my wife (at the time) back on a survival quest to save her family and our 2 boys 7 & 11, days after typhoon Yolanda. The family had been surviving on buried fruits and coconuts buried in the mud and debris along with yes, dead bodies.

Our houses had been ripped to shreds and so forth.

I felt honored to have enough earnings to get them into Metro apartment and whatever else that was needed. That’s just me, a guy loves to fix things, anyway for me.

After a few weeks my boys returned home with the estranged wife. I was not sure how things would be with her but overjoyed for my boys returning safely. Later she announced that she was with baby, and 9 months later a girl was born.

Fact is this child had a very very dark tan instantly and well,,,, curly hair? I was told her Grandmother was the same way and just played along. I finally went to do a DNA test after she took of for 2 nights & 3 days “being with friends”. I didn’t want to live a lie anymore so I confronted her about it and she blamed me for not giving enough attention. Narcissistic approach without any personal responsibility.

So, why am I sharing my dirty laundry about this with you? Suppose I should be a big boy and walk away with what pride I had left of 15 lovegonewrong affair? I want to tell you & myself that I still believe that the Filipina is the best in the world and my heart still belongs there living within the extended family culture. To me no other place equals in the world! Maybe I’m just looking for some faithful Pinay to read this and a match shall be sparked? I don’t need or want sympathy really.

I know that if I don’t start over and make a change I will stay where I am in the cold, unforgiving relentlessly inhospitable returns of Northern California. I don’t want and shall not live without a new chance to be alive again instead of just surviving. Many women have been cheated as many as men have.

So to the future Expats I want to say, let it go and take a chance again and hope to be happy and free. We know how special the Filipino culture is and that’s the draw along with less expensive living conditions that where your country is. I am getting up there in age just turning 60. If your not bruised, torn a little, effected by the road you’ve been on then to me you haven’t experienced enough.

This is jotted down without thinking about content and I guess, I just feel better letting it out spontaneously.

God bless and always take good care ~ P

Post Author: Patrick Duffey

The stories I have written about my observations in the Philippines come from the utmost respect for the people and the way of life there. The way the Pinoy can adapt to the hardest of conditions thrust upon them and still be humble in very proud people. I have written without prejudice to these newspapers and magazines without charging one peso, I did get cut off at the knees for my political views of “Erap” with his corruption. I did this not to get anyone angry. I did it so the people whom have forgotten how incredibly beautiful is there or maybe the ones who were not born there and not traveled there yet can get a glimpse through these balikbayan’s blue eye’s. I am not here to make political judgments or interfere with anyone else’s business. I went to the Philippines for the intentions of songwriting. I have been with such bands as Santana, Pablo Cruise, The Tubes, Joe Satrani, Martha Davis and Pink Floyd. Don't know who they are~~ look them up! This has been my life's work while working with bands I loved! I have toured and visited many places but never enough time to relax to get the feel, so simple songs in paradise should be trouble. The songs I intended to compose instead became my lonely planet journal. My heart got infected, and I wanted to give back some of this hospitality given to me by the worlds connoisseurs’. I am proud and privileged to have some sight, if only brief to what many foreigners will never see or feel. I hope that you have enjoyed the stories as much as I have writing them. God Bless to all. Sadly 9 yrs of marriage and two boys the marriage failed from both sides truthfully and I am looking at again to go back to the Philippines to set my heart free once more. Yes, the money is here but the freedom and love is where the heart is, and where mine is… in the Philippines!

Deja Voodoo Part 14

Year 2012  Deja Voodoo.        Part 14

For 9 plus years at nighttime before, I slip into unconsciousness, there I am with the warm waters, sandy beaches & Filipino instant ready smiles. What makes me know that this is a bit different is the rooster crowing at MNL ~ It is March 7th, my birthday and here I am again finally! But this time my traveling has changed quite differently because I have the ( estranged wife),  her Nanay and our 5 & 10 yr old boys. We are returning for the reasons of course to relax also take care of pleasure and some business, but our 2 boys will stay until December at least. They are there to learn respect and the correct ways of discipline taught by the family. I would bet that most people at the terminal after the countless hours of awaiting transfer will either jump out while in flight or hit the closet Tuba stand if they survive the boys but no airplane doors opened. I will not nor shall I paint a more descriptive picture but lets just say if the Abu Sayyaf were to get a hold of them somehow, they would respond with the usual money thing ~ but reversed as they would offer their money to take them back instead of asking from us. But never mind…… lets go on anyway.

After 9 plus years things have really changed of course. The constant is that the one thing that never changes is change itself! Tacloban, Leyte is not the small runway with grab your bags on the table anymore, it is International now with the big boys landing here, guards, customs. New shopping centers, Home Depot, Robbinson’s, 2 Gaisano’s, Handyman’s …….. and mansions abound everywhere it feels like. Late at night we all arrive and after a few hours we need our rest. The roasters and dogs seem to enjoy their Karaoke sessions throughout the wee hours. As it seems there is no jet-lag coming to the Philippines but going back to America takes days to overcome. I came here for the excitement of building our 2nd house on one of two new parcels of properties that we have obtained. A 3 story, 5 bedroom bali, with a theater, woodworking/tools shop, ballroom dancing that opens to the back yard and of course………. the waterfall from the back yard corner where a pool arrives inside the house at the swim-up bar. I have drawn my plans and have 3 months to make a bunch of work started to where the others can pick it up latter where I have left behind the plans.

Article continues below pictures, click on the picture for a larger view.

A bit of my time is spent at the beach and always being asked of my observations about the Philippines and 15 times per day there is the history lesson about why I love it here too much. I never get tired of campaigning about P.I. and the Filipino ways I admire. When I do this in the U.S. I say about my family the Mendiola’s from Cabuynan, Leyte in P.I. are the richest people I have ever met, simple rice farmers but in their hearts-they are the richest! I have watched as the floods have invaded their home while they wade in knee deep waters sometimes with Schistosomiasis and inches away from the electric outlets. They have something alive inside them and I have my needs and desires to find out how to become more like them. There is plenty of time catching up and plenty of visitors stopping by. I will stroll just about anywhere and become a instant cousin being asked if I want to join them for drink and snack.

There are also times I wish to just get away solo and do some mountain climbing but doing so I get cut and ripped up in the jungle to finish my trek. Is it wise or foolish as I choose not to return the same hazardous way and go into the rice fields for a break. Seems like I can map it out from about but once down into it. I find the levies are maybe at best only 1 foot wide in most places and like a labyrinth as I have my bamboo pole for balance. I can not and will not ruin any part for this is their livelihood of survival. I find myself in too deep, I must do way too much backtracking while in the hot sun. I am somewhat certain the others are watching their rice fields closely wondering what idiot would be there. Well- be it as it may,,,,,,,,way better than others that spend their time here in a taxi & hotel room!

I have come here for a duration of 3 months like I use to do prior to be married and having children and its a real kick knowing that I will be relaxing for that long. But 3 weeks into my trip I have the email telling me that my mother is in the hospital very badly. Holy week has me wait another 2 weeks for an available return to my mom’s. My wife returns on April 2nd but is delayed in the San Francisco Peninsula with car trouble for a few days. Things there have become crazy back there and returning I will take care of my mother and other matters now also. America is not like the Philippines in any fashion, matter or mood. One evenings brawl, drag out fight will return to being the bestest of friends the next day. The Filipino are resilient and loving, forgiving and jolly, NOT what I have lived within the States. There is only two families that comes to mind and it is our best friends in the United States, true people are very rare, we have best friends, acquaintances and enemies in our world and there is nothing in the dictionary about “bad friends” they just don’t exist. Tomorrow I leave, tonight my last evening I am torn inside. I want to help my mother of course, I need to help get attitudes back in correct thinking there and stop the craziness!

Looking at myself, I hope and pray I have learned some lessons here to better myself and to be better for others, it would be a shame if I did not.

The change comes from within always!